Boots
Michiel Mans
Illustratie: Pieter Hogenbirk
'Met Donner van Justitie, de Don spreekt u.'
-'Don? What do you mean Don? George here... .'
'I made a Rap to pull our young ones into politics and now they call me the Don.'
-'Rap? No, you will be wrapped. In concrete. What is this shit I hear about you wanting to introduce Syrian law?'
'I was referring to Sharia law Mr President.'
-'Whatever, listen dingbad, we don't want no Syrian law in our country or our Dutch friends' country ever, you hear me? Them Syrians is evil folk from that axle. I forgot whether it was the front or rear one.'
'Not SYRIAN law Mr President, SHARIA law, the Islamic laws based on Mohammed's teachings.'
-'Muhammed? What does boxing got to do with it? Besides, that guy has become a blabbering idiot who can barely speak, let alone teach.'
'Mr President, I mean the Muslim prophet Mohammed.'
-'Ah, that blabbering idiot. How did you get this smart Islamic law idea? You fell off your bike or something? They tell me you cycle to work.'
'I do Mr President. No, I think if the people want Sharia law and choose so democratically, they should get it.'
-'You moron, who gives a flying monkey fuck what the people want? Listen, you disgusting smelly droplet of rotting rhino remains. I may be a dumbass reworn Christian but even I know; if something looks evil, it smells evil, it behaves evil, it fuckin' is evil. And you want to surrender your fellow countrymen to this evil without a fight? Hell, we may take the wrong exit once in a while, invading the wrong country. We may fight a wrong war but we fuckin' fight. Your troops in Afghanestine fight, that brilliant babe of yours staying with us fights, what sorry excuse of a man are you if you won't fight for your freedom, your liberties, your culture and your history?'
'It was purely an academic, hypothetical line of thinking Mr President.'
-'Acadamnic? Hippothetical? Hell, ask those girls in Iran who were acadamnically strung up for some supposed adultery. Ask these schoolgirls in Indonesia who were hippothetically beheaded for being Christians. People say I have my head up my ass but Jeeezzus friggin' Christ man I only have an ass. You are one. And it seems to me there is a mighty lot of shit coming out of it.'
'Mr President, please let me explain, you don't understand. The people must first vote for the introduction of Sharia law by a majority of two thirds. That's democracy in action Mr President.'
-'Democracy as in; we can cure your headache by dropping you off that high building head first. I understand this is the Islamic cure for queers as well. Real smart, you must do well in popularity polls dumbdon.'
'I have a rating of under thirty percent at the moment but that's because they don't understand Mr President.'
-'They don't understand, THEY don't understand? I understand one thing dungdip. Seventy percent of your people want to see your ass just once more. Out the backdoor. For ever. Seventy percent is more than two thirds of the people. Start walking Don... .'
Michiel Mans (1956) is grotendeels autodidact, een 'lezer' met interesses in geschiedenis, filosofie, politiek en wetenschap. Hij komt uit een nest van 'boerenverstand' aan moederskant en een 'oud koloniaal uitzuigersgeslacht' aan vaderskant. Een mix van Drents humanisme en rechts reactionair in een liberale, sceptische saus.
Gepubliceerd op 17.09.06 @ 02:31 AM
